Dressing up makes me feel better.

I love clothes. I love fashion. The only magazine I subscribe to is Lucky. It’s like a monthly shoppers guide with great ideas and lots of AMAZING clothes, 95% of which I can’t afford, but I can dream. That’s my hang up. I can’t justify spending large amounts of money on clothes. As my mom would say it best “You have wine taste on a beer budget”. But I feel like I can still dress great and feel good without spending all the money. I love stores like H&M, Nordstrom Rack, Zara, Ross, TJ Maxx & Marshalls. But at all of those stores (with the exception of H&M and Zara) you have to be in the mood to find a bargain. Because you have to dig. And most the time I don’t mind. Steve hates this type of shopping most of the time. But lately he has found some good deals, and can appreciate the bargain hunt. Even though he doesn’t really have the patience for it. And if the normal fashionista saw me, I’m sure they would frown at my outfits, and my lack of Versace or Manolo Blahnik’s. Anyways, I am starting to lose my original train of thought of why I wanted to blog on this topic. I don’t know what it is, but when I feel like I look good, it puts me in an instant good mood. Yesterday and today I have “dressed up” for work. Heels/skirts/blazers/etc. And I feel happy. I don’t know why that is. But I’m not complaining. I guess I just realized how good I feel, if I feel like I look good. And that’s probably vain, but at this point…I don’t really care. It’s like prozac without having to take the pill. Even though yesterday at the end of the day, I felt like my feet were going to fall off, I still managed to put on heels again today. Luckily this pair is much more comfortable. But it’s even worth the pain. Which again…I find bizarre. But I guess that’s just me and a new quirk I have learned. Yesterday I wanted to get lost in my bed and not wake up. I felt emotionally unstable. But I know that is the worst thing that you can do…just stay in bed avoiding the world. So I got up and made myself run as usual. Except yesterday running felt like a chore. Which that RARELY happens. But I was so glad I still did. And I dressed up. And I felt better. Although if anyone could have video footage of me trying to get ready they would have realized exactly the wreck that I am. Steve had to come home to a pile of shoes and clothes just lying in the closet. I NEVER DO THIS. But I think I put on 4 outfits before I found something I felt good in. So I guess this is my new secret that I am letting out of the bag. When I dress up, it’s usually to cover up feeling really crummy inside. You would think it would be the other way around. No one is going to ask me if everything is alright if I look like I am put together. But I actually prefer it that way. Funny…the days I am feeling most secure and confident are probably the days that I am most “dressed down”. That’s pretty out of wack! But hey…that’s my life…and I am growing to like my quirks. I have come to laugh at myself…and find actual enjoyment in it. Here are the days of embracing my flaws. Maybe this strategy will work. I’ll let you know.