THE SNAKE!!!!

Saturday afternoon Steve was going to mow the lawn while I cleaned the garage. He opened the door to the backyard...and then immediately shut it. I was still in the kitchen getting a garbage bag. He comes in and says...what can I kill a snake with?? "WHAT????!!!!!???????!" I replied calmly. Apparently when he opened the door...a snake was just chillin' outside the door trying to get into the garage. YIKES!! I HATE SNAKES! What is it with me and reptiles??!? Before I got married when I was still living in the Brothel, one night I got home and in my closet was a slimy orange and green salamander that was about a foot long...and FAT. I did what any sane adult would do...ran for my life and jumped on my bed. And now a SNAKE?!?!? Atleast it's not in the house...but STILL!!!! Steve said it was black & yellow. We have a door from our kitchen to the backyard so we went out to access the situation. Sure enough...there was a snake right in front of the garage door...perched up. It had to be a foot and a half long. FREAK OUT!!! So we go back into the garage and figure out what we have. Nothing with a long handle would kill it. I had a wooden pole which I would try and get the snake away from the door...and Steve had a metal hoe thing...but the handle was only about a foot long. So we go out...I hit the back of his body with the pole...he freaked and slithered behind some bushes. Well at least he isn't by the door anymore...but HOW THE HECK am I supposed to weed EVER AGAIN!!?!?!? I wish I could be cool and have a picture of it...but you will just have to imagine how scary it was!!! There were no other snake sightings the rest of the weekend...THANK GOODNESS!!!!