CHAOS!

Are there times in your life when you are just BUSY!?!?! I am going through one of those times right now. And it’s really not bad….it just feels a little chaotic. My husband and I both have jobs where we travel on a semi-regular basis. I love to travel! But now that I am married…it’s not as fun when I can’t go with Steve. I just miss him. Anyways, these past several months we have been on the go quite a bit. From Chicago to Destin to Cleveland, Erie, Indianapolis, LA, Denver, Columbus, Louisville, South Bend, Waterloo Iowa, Milwaukee, etc!!! Throw 2 weddings into the mix where I was a bridesmaid in both, and it is just CRAZY! It has all been fun, but I feel like I am getting NO time with Steve. So I got back from California on Sunday night (he wasn't able to go with me), and said that I would only hang out with my husband these 7 days. He leaves for Equador on Monday, and I leave for St. Louis. But in the process of putting my husband first, I feel like I am neglecting my friends. I have a friend that has been trying to get together with me for the past month, and I had to say no to this week as well even though I am at home. Is that BAD?!?!? Usually I would sacrifice to hang out with my friends, but this week…I just CAN’T…well don’t want to. I WANT to hang out with Steve. I guess I feel bad because I hate saying no to people. But this week, I just can’t help it. Oh well, hopefully she will get over it. Starting Monday, I won’t see Steve for 9 days, so I feel like it is a good excuse…but I still feel bad. Kind of. It’s also kind of freeing. For once I’m putting my desires first…which makes me feel INCREDIBLY selfish. What is scary…is looking at the rest of the year…I don’t feel like it’s going to get any better. There is a lot of travel ahead. And when Steve and I hang out it’s not like we do anything lavish…we just hang out at home, and usually just look at each other while the TV is on. I feel like I can look into his puppy dog brown eyes all day long! I am very excited for him to go to Equador, but I don’t know if I will be able to talk to him. I just realized that I haven’t gone a day without talking to him…well…since before we started dating over 3 years ago. But I guess it’s the sacrifice you make when you go on a mission trip to South America. His company is trying to get him an international cell phone which would be FABULOUS! I just miss him already. I feel busy…I feel chaotic. I just want to go away with him and lay on a beach somewhere. That sounds nice. But the chances of that happening in the next 3 years is probably slim to none! Just thinking about it all is making my head spin!