The Inevitable Quest...

A place for me to be me...while searching for who I want to be

Tuesday, October 05, 2010

Impulsive Beats Frumpy & Dumpy

I am 17 1/2 weeks pregnant. Thank goodness I am passed the weeks of nasea that comes along with the first trimester. For me and this pregnancy it lasted 3 weeks longer than my first pregnancy...so I wasn't too happy for awhile. But I turned the corner sometime during my 15th week, and I feel better now. However, now comes the part of the pregnancy where you just feel frumpy and dumpy. Your belly is sticking out...but someone who doesn't know you probably just thinks you could afford to lose a few pounds. My normal jeans don't comfortably button anymore. I'm trying not to get depressed about it. So down comes the maternity bin from the attic. I assess what I had last pregnancy. Basically everything in there isn't going to work. Satchel was due in August. This one is due in March. So my biggest months will be January - March. WINTER. Hmmm...with Satchel my big months were June - August. My overstretched tank tops and cropped pants aren't going to work in January. However, there was a pair of "fat jeans" in there. (Not maternity jeans...just a bigger pair of jeans from my heavier days.) And also a pair of maternity black pants and maternity jeans. So I try them on. They are all too big. And I am thankful for that. One good thing so far is I started off about 10 pounds lighter this pregnancy, and have only gained 5 pounds so far. However, that leaves old maternity clothes WAY...TOO...BIG. So today I decided to wear my fat jeans to work instead of putting a rubber band on my not buttoned normal jeans. Basically I have saggy crotch. Am I more comfortable...yes...do I feel frumpy & dumpy...YES! Not to mention I'm wearing my boots that I am attempting to tuck boot cut jeans into which kind of creates the pirate pants effect. Not cute! Aren't you supposed to feel beautiful, confident and full of life when pregnant?!? That is not what I feel.

For those that know me well, know impulsive isn't really in my vocabulary when it comes to shopping. I would like to say I'm thoughtful. I see something I like...I need to ponder it...digest it...live with the thought of buying said item for a few days. I have my blow money...and I like to spend it thoughtfully. Therefore, I am NOT an impulsive buyer.

Fast forward to lunch time today. Remember, I have saggy crotch and feel frumpy & dumpy. I have no lunch plans. Do I want to go maternity clothes shopping?? NO WAY. BUT. I'm over feeling frump. So on a whim I decide to go to the mall...and shop during lunch. GASP! Can't tell you the last time I did that. It's been years for sure.

Side note...last weekend Satchel and I went to the mall for a couple of hours to ride the escalators. I took 5 steps into the maternity store, the lady working asked if she could help me with anything...I said no and walked out. I couldn't do it.

I was hoping today would be different. I took the first 5 steps into the store. Lady greeted me, asked if she could help. I pointed to my pirate poof pants with saggy crotch and said, "I am in desperate need of skinny jeans. HELP!"

Not 15 minutes later I was at the counter with 3 pairs of jeans and some leggings. IMPULSIVE I TELL YOU! The thoughtful side of me desperately asks..."What is your return policy?"

"30 days with the tags on," maternity worker responds.

"PERFECT," I say.

And I am on my way. 15 minutes. That is blasphemy in my own little shopping world. But hey...impulsiveness beats frumpy, dumpy, saggy crotch and pirate pants.

Pregnancy does crazy things!!

Missing

So I have obviously been absent from this blog. After my dad died, I needed a break. I had Satchel, and as much as I love him...he turned my world upside down. I didn't want to write about it. Life has it's ups and downs, and I have experienced both in the last 3 years. But today I am compelled to come back. To have an outlet.

So what's new? Satchel just turned 3, and is my little buddy. He is so smart, and I am a proud mumma. He knows all of the presidents, and just about all of the states. He loves to learn.

Steve and I are approaching 7 years of marriage...and I couldn't be happier. He is my best friend, and I am thankful for him, his support and his friendship.

And...I'm pregnant with baby Strout #2. This little being is due on March 11th. To be brutally honest, I'm not excited about being pregnant. I'm excited about meeting this little person in March, but I am NOT excited about pregnancy. This time I know what to expect...and I have A LOT ahead of me that I'm NOT looking forward to. But it will pass, and I will have a new blessing.

So there it is. I'm open to being open again. And I'm sure I will have lots to write about during my pregnancy adventure!
 
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